Major Dad 1984

Cursed By A Classical Education

Let's just say that I intend to use this blog to blow off some steam that I might be feeling with the International/National media, my work situation, or maybe even to tee off on the family in a humorous way of course!


Eye Drops and The Baby

Ah, Pink Eye, the staple of having a baby in the house...

This moring, we continued Alisha's treatment with the the prescribed eyedrops. (Note: MajorDad got his own little bottle of drops on Thursday...prescription written by the pediatrician.) For those of you that have never raised a baby, don't feel bad for not realizing what an undertaking this course of treatment is. Let's just say that it's probably easier to get a cat stuffed into a toilet than it is to get eye drops into a baby's eyes.

Alisha is a small child...small for her 14 months, but still a very normal, happy baby, until you have to pin her to the bed in order to get 4 little drops of medicine into her eyes. You'd think we were on WWE wrestling with the way she struggles and fights.

This morning it seemed as if things got a little crazier. I weigh about 9 times what this little bundle of joy weighs, you'd think that I'd be able to do this by myself....but no, we started with me doing the holding and Karen doing the drop administration. Trying to hold arms and legs still.....holding open little eyelids (whose muscle strength must be approaching the jaw strength of a pit bull)....just wasn't cutting. If these drops kill the infection the causes pink eye, we can probably dispense with spraying the bed down with Lysol today, we got plenty of the stuff all over. To finally get the job done, we had to bring Jamie in on the act...where I gave up my job holding arms and legs just to concentrate on getting the little eyes open. Wow! And that scream???

You'd think we were trying to get battery acid into her eyes...

See you on the high ground....MajorDad

Read the rest of the longer story!


At 9:40 PM, Blogger Angel said...

Oh the joy's of parenthood!!!! 3 almost never fail techniques, says the Mom of 3 (17, 14 and 10 1/2)

For the 2 person application, 2 positions of restraint that work great.

a) Grown-up "A" the "holder” Sit on flat surface such as floor or bed. Lay torture victim (a.k.a. baby/child) down on their back on said flat surface. Scoot them up so the top of their head is at the juncture of your legs (get your minds out of the gutter!!!!). Now, take your legs, and put them over the top of torture victim to restrain arms, hips and legs at the same time. Still leaves you two hands free to help with lid prying or head restraint.

b) Sit on side of bed, chair, table, whatever with legs slightly spread. Sit torture victim in upright position between your legs. Now, take your legs and cross them over the top of victim's legs, effectively trapping the lower extremities. Use your left hand to grasp the victim's right hand/wrist and your right to grasp her left. Cross the baby's arms over the baby's stomach and hold the wrist/hands down close to their hips. Grown up #2 is all on their own for applying the actual drops using this restraint technique since you're "all tied up" but you can brace the baby's head against your chest to help a little.

Finally, the "Oh hell, I have to do this by myself!!!" restraint technique.

Again, sit on flat surface of floor or bed, legs spread in a "V". Lay baby flat on bed between your legs, but this time with feet facing you (A cup might be advised for dads until you master this one!). Scoot the baby up as close to you as possible. Use your legs to pin down baby's leg's (little feet should end up on either side of your hips); arms and the head should end up trapped between your calves. Use your calf muscles to stabilize baby's head. Now that you've got the wiggly body immobilized and still have two hands free, apply drops at will.

Comfort generously when done, bribery is advised!!!

Blue skies,



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